“Aren’t we all unfinished don’t we all need editing” -Rudy Francisco
“Lay it all down
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
Lay it all down…”
See,
I never wanted to be broken,
So I built walls all around me
Walls reinforced with tonnes of bitterness
To an equal amount of hate for the world
Oh, what gain would it be to be vulnerable to mere mortal man?
Man, swaddled in garments of self-pity
In a bid to hold their own walls from falling,
Fearing that another may see how deserted their cities really were.
It was the same show everywhere,
A quest to see whose bridges could hold up for the longest,
I guess finding You was my point of weakness to them,
I did not see it as a victory either,
At that moment I could only hate myself for giving up!
What darkness I dwelled in!
These cities I built for myself with walls too high
No light could shine through them
I built castles in the dark,
Castles I believed existed
With no idea, if they were even standing
No evidence of what direction I had built them in
Frames at the point of decay
Groaned as they held my grieving soul
Darkness is just the absence of light.
Now I see it
What terrible castles I built with such shabby material,
Swinging idly, ready to fall at one blow of insult
Seemingly polished walls of insensitivity that attracted offence,
Leaking with disgust for my fellow man
Bait for the enemy to trail termite tunnels of hurt in my direction
Walls of self-love placed in the wrong proportions
Hanging onto sandy foundations of bought out comments
Earned from selling my dignity to strangers
Daily offers of 24-hour posters of me being lured to their bait
Breaking off my principles as if it were news to them
My foundation had no anchor just anger,
Watch how my beams leaned towards self-righteousness
Because no one said enough words that could linger in my air vents,
Long enough.
A heavy cloud of lust lingered above,
A bed of rest for my thwarted desires,
Untamed,
So they devoured anything that came their way,
It was an insatiable hunger,
Of course, but I was too blind to see it.
You can never see the light unless if you shout for it,
Search for it,
Yearn for it,
Then it can find you.
Sometimes it takes shouting louder than you expect
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Remember these walls were not built in a day
It takes a man intentionality to let others in,
But careful too who you let in.
Guard your heart for out of it flow the issues of life
But how I drench of my own issues Lord,
My walls are ‘whitewashed’ with my fleshly desires,
My insatiable gloom drowns the colour in me,
Purge me with hyssop,
Your cleansing makes me whiter than snow
None of my transgressions will show,
Break me inside out,
I offer myself as a sacrifice,
One you will deny me not
Because, a broken and contrite heart, O God!
You will not despise…
I Am Ink.
The ScriBB 